Destressing in a Stressed Out World, Part 3: Let That Shiz Go!

If you feel you are in a bad spot in life, I guarantee, there is probably nothing unique about your situation. Maybe you’re angry that you’ve been replaced at work. Maybe you feel like you’ve been unfairly judged by someone- your boss, coworker, friend, family member. Maybe you’ve tried to stand your ground, knowing you were right all along, but they just won’t let you own it. Maybe you found some unsettling messages on your kids or your spouses phone. Maybe you’re afraid you won’t have a place to live tomorrow. Maybe, just maybe, being in that spot is self-inflicted but you haven’t realized it yet; You are 100% in control of your own feelings and emotions.

You’re holding on to all this anger and hurt. What exactly is it doing for you? What are you accomplishing by being hurt, pissed off, vengeful and vicious? Give me one example of how this attitude has helped you in life. When has lashing out at someone helped you pay the bills? Tell me about when harnessing that work stress has led to raises and promotions. When has being miserable to be around actually improved your marriage, family, social life? When has sitting on the edge of your bed, with your face in your palms helped save your home from foreclosure? How is waking up stressed and going to sleep stressed helping your life?

Forgiveness is letting go of the hope for a better past.

Probably one of the most profoundly impacting one-liners that has been thrown at me is “Forgiveness is letting go of the hope for a better past”. Anyone that is or has been married, or even in a long term relationship can relate very well to this, however it truly is an all encompassing quote not just limited to relationships. Forgiving others is tremendously empowering and liberating. Sometimes you have to forgive people more than once for the same thing, but every time it pops in your head, and you start feeling the anger build, forgive your ass off! Forgive, Forgive, Forgive! Now get it out of your head that they don’t deserve forgiveness, they deserve the whole entire wrath you’re raining upon them in your mind. When you believe it’s going to make you feel better to hate them day in and day out, you lose. First of all, it’s going to make you feel far worse, because you’re “stewing”. You’re building up your anger into rage. You’re giving up your chance at happiness, peace and good health…. For what? For who? You don’t own that situation, that situation or person owns you. Even though the situation has ceased to exist and who ever wronged you isn’t giving 2 shits about you, you’re keeping it on life support in your head. At some point, if you want to be happy, realize it’s time to pull the plug.

True enjoyment comes from activity of the mind and exercise of the body; the two are ever united -Wilhelm von Humboldt

Run that crap out of you. Lift it, bike it, hike it, ski it, snowboard it out of your system. Exercise not only helps refocus your mind, It produces endorphins. Endorphins are chemicals in the brain that act as natural pain killers. They also help you sleep which in turn reduces stress. No less than half hour of cardio a day does it for me. I would go into more detail, but a quick google search of “exercise and stress” can give you a literal information overload. Check it out!

Here is my short-list of different stressful situations and my scripted, generic approach to each one

People’s useless opinions

If they don’t pay my bills, put food on my table, keep a roof over my head or wake up in the same house, their opinion Just isn’t that important.

The small stuff

Did they get your order wrong in the drive through? Do they not have what you need at the store? Is it a day where it seems like every asshole with a car is on the road? If this is the worst thing that happens to you today, then consider yourself extremely lucky. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anybody. To give a little perspective, 6,775 people will die today in the USA alone. Thats 282 people an hour that do not have tomorrow to start over. Don’t spend today pissed-off over 15 seconds of irritation.

Betrayals

Not a whole hell of a lot sucks more than being betrayed by someone you care about. Even if it’s someone you’re not that close to, being betrayed cuts deep and leave a painful wound. No matter how much it hurts, you can’t let that wound leave a huge scar. What helps me in this situation, is remembering this too shall pass. I think back to my first real heartbreak. It was so many years ago, I can hardly recall what she looked like. I remember dwelling and obsessing, crying and being in a perpetual state of hurt, but overall I survived and it doesn’t control my life one iota. Think Forgiveness.

Relationships

Does 1+1=24? No, so why let one bad moment with one person ruin twenty-four hours of your life? Take a walk, get it out of your system, then kiss and make up, or avoid each other and move on.

With all that said, and as important as it is to learn to let go, if you have encountered a situation that you are struggling with letting go of, there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. If you’re at a point that you feel you’re going to hurt yourself or others, I beg you, please seek out a mental-health professional. I’ve done it in the past, and quite frankly there are just some situations that need one-on-one deep analysis. Don’t dish out permanent solutions to temporary problems.

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Published by

gdaugh

Thank you for checking out my blog! As of December 2016, I decided to change my life completely. I was sick of being overweight, depressed, unhappy and exhausted; I was completely broken as a person. I decided to start taking steps to change it, and in some ways it was far more easy than I expected, and in other ways is was way harder than expected. Either way, I began a journey to make my life better, and now I’m hooked on that journey. I’ve lost over 60 lbs, and landed a great career. I’ve changed who I was as a person, both mentally and physically. A former fat-ass and desk jockey I’m now a full time Fire Fighter/EMT-IV/TT in beautiful Colorado. I believe your own mind is your worst enemy, and I’m on a journey in life to help people transform that. I’m a lover of good food and fitness. I believe in taking a very down to earth approach to everything in life; facts don’t care about feelings, but how you feel is how you’ll live. As of 01/11/2018, I became a brand new blogger, inspired by having absolutely nothing to do after the gym while on shift at the Fire Department. I am completely open to suggestions and constructive criticism. I currently reside in Colorado with my wife and kids.

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